My usual approach wasn’t working

I have been a passionate environmentalist since the day I could form thoughts.

I have been so passionate that I’ve become angry, tired, sad, hopeless, and truly wondering how I would continue for several decades of life filled with hate and judgment towards humanity.

This project started not because I had answers, but because I had questions — many, many questions. I was not equipped to face the inner workings of my brain alone anymore. Contemplating the same devastating thoughts over and over, alternating between angry passion and silent avoidance, became unbearable.

I have felt grief impede my daily life and mental health in the form of ever-present, low-grade anxiety and dreadful hours in the middle of the night, me and my spiraling, negative thoughts.

Afraid to face the pain associated with environmental destruction and species loss, I have avoided certain lines of work (paid or volunteer) and subject matter. This, in turn, has led to feelings of guilt and shame for being an “impostor environmentalist.” I have felt eco-grief.

I realized nothing would get better unless I tried something new, so I threw up my hands and started researching environmental depression — typing in search terms like “how to deal with mass extinction” and “why do I cry when I see plastic pollution” — and found a group of people talking about the issues I was facing.

I now know this: grief and stress thrive in isolation. A solution can only lie in coming together to provide mutual support and validation. 

I know we need to talk more about the emotions humans experience as they face climate change, ecological collapse, mass extinction, polluted oceans, disappearing natural spaces, and many other effects on human and non-human beings. We need to unveil the difficult feelings and ethical conundrums we shamefully hide.

I want to bring the sensitive, passionate, grieving lovers of nature into stronger community with each other by compiling stories, perspectives, and resources to help us live more peacefully and optimistically.

I hope you do too.