Savoring the good

As many know we had a change of administration in the United States recently. To anyone who loves the Earth and its creatures (including ourselves!) and believes we need to make big changes for life to survive on this planet, this was welcome news. Despite how long I’d anxiously waited for this moment, when it came I noticed I was resistant to relief. I was not accustomed to feeling good.

One of the most troubling pieces of news I read in the twilight of the Trump administration was about the decision in December to auction off oil and gas drilling rights in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge in early January, before Biden took office.

For context, the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge is “located in the northeast corner of Alaska, [and] is one of the finest examples of wilderness remaining anywhere in the world. It is a perfect example of intact, naturally functioning Arctic and subarctic ecosystems. In fact, such a broad spectrum of diverse habitats occurring within a single protected unit is unparalleled in North America.” It encompasses “19.6 million acres in northeast Alaska, and includes the Mollie Beattie Wilderness, the second largest wilderness area in the U.S. at 8 million acres.” I won’t cover the complete environmental and cultural value this area holds, but you can read more about it at the link above or this one. To me, drilling in such an area is sacrilegious and criminal. It’s utter insanity, economically short-sighted, sold under the guise of investment in the local economy. I was despondent when I heard this was happening.

But then, in January, good things happened. The sale occurred, with the Trump administration putting 1.1 million acres out to bid. But only three entities bid on tracts, one being the state of Alaska itself and the other two small oil companies. In short, the lease sale drew a tiny fraction of the interest expected.

These sales will be challenged by environmental groups, and the Biden administration can still delay permits needed for activity. Even more uplifting was that major banks refused to finance any oil and gas exploration projects in the refuge.

In the same week, I was reminded that:

• GM is supporting the push towards electric vehicles. 
• Exxon Mobil encourages methane gas emissions controls. 
• BlackRock’s CEO called for bold climate targets among the world’s executives.

I am not naive, I know there are pragmatic motivations for corporations to act in pro-environmental ways, including public relations and competitive advantage. But, at least in these instances business motives aligned with what is good for the Earth and its inhabitants, too. 

What jolted me when faced with the developments I describe above was how much I immediately dismissed any positive feelings. In contrast to the sadness that I admitted in quick successions of monster waves, joy and relief got dismissed as inconsequential or evidence of “letting down my guard”. It occurred to me that this is deeply tragic. When I got as good as I could have hoped for, I couldn’t let it soak into my body and mind. My negativity bias weighed me down and dissuaded me from celebrating. Phrases like “This shouldn’t have happened in the first place,” “It’s not enough,” and “This won’t last” got more airtime than anything aligned with satisfaction.

In a totally different scenario, I noticed the negativity bias play out in the same exact way. I had a much needed conversation with a close friend about some issues we were having in our relationship. It was an important conversation for me, and I was thrilled we had it. We went places that needed going to. Immediately afterwards, I caught myself thinking: “Why didn’t this happen sooner?” and “Why didn’t I do better and bring this up earlier?” Instead of savoring major progress, I downgraded it by pinning it against its imaginary, ever-perfect evil twin — 20/20 hindsight. 

This is no small, inconsequential thing.

Observing my reactions made me question — what am I choosing to orient towards? If I can’t choose to celebrate wins and good moments, what is the point in becoming dark over the losses? Aren’t I becoming sad because of my passion and love for something? Shouldn’t this same passion and love fuel joy, too? 

Letting in the good is a practice. We’re wired to pay more attention to negative events; this hyper-attention to the bad conferred evolutionary advantages to our species’ survival. But in modern life, uncontrolled negativity leeches the vibrancy out of life and contributes to mental anguish. With intention, we can learn to actively sense joy in our lives, attract it, and hold onto it. This retrains the nervous system to download the good more easily, and helps to build resiliency. It’s not self-indulgent or frivolous. It’s essential. 

What’s the best-feeling feeling you can feel? Why not go there intentionally, in your mind, more often? Summon a pleasant memory or sensation, and sit with it for a few minutes. Notice everything it does to you: increased relaxation, slower breathing, greater peace, and a sense of sinking down yet feeling lighy. Get intimate — acquaint your nervous system with this feeling. 

• Sense joy: what does it feel like in your body and mind? 
• Attract it: slow down and soak it in as much as possible.
• Hold onto it: try to carry this feeling with you as you move on.

Go a step further and imagine: what if you were supremely satisfied right now? What if you had everything that you wanted, and everything was as it should be? Imagine what you can do from this state — how empowered, creative, and peaceful you feel. You can bring more of this into your everyday life. 

I used to think this attitude of orienting towards joy and welcoming the good was equivalent to fake, forced cheerfulness. It was pollyannaish, unproductive, and self-indulgent. Now it strikes me as scrappy, resourceful, and intelligent. You’re not ignoring everything going wrong — you’re letting what is good have an equal shot at doing its work on you. I am much more interested now in creating life from this spacious place where I am just as I need to be, everything is enough, I don’t need to be any farther along than I am, and there are plenty of things to be grateful for. This feels replenishing, and gives me energy and willpower to do difficult things. It strikes me as more interesting intellectually, as well, because the negativity bias is downgraded and my perception of reality is more objective and open.

For my own delight, I am focusing on mixing in a sense of mystery and playfulness into this exercise. In the worst corporation, maybe there’s someone planning subversion or sabotage. In the evilest administration, maybe there’s an aide casually sliding a memo into the garbage can, or moving a little too slowly to answer the phone. It’s possible. There are brave, good people in the world. There is a brave, good person in you. They, and you, deserve celebration. Look at places where you beat yourself up, don’t accept a compliment, let a feeling of accomplishment fade to focus on the next hurdle. By savoring what’s good in our lives, our natural creativity, playfulness, and resourcefulness ignite to give us strength. We rewire our nervous systems to orient towards joy, and have more fun in the meantime.